Smash List

1. Leon Kuwata

Pros

SUCH A CUTIE

He looks GOOD in a baseball uniform

Leonaegi for the WIN

The CHARACTER GROWTH in Never Say Never

Cons

A FUCKBOI

The BEST execution in the series

Cousin issues(it's not his fault she's just a creep)

2. Viewtiful Joe

Pros

Leon Kuwata but a sexy superhero

SO FUCKING HOT

Sexy ass superhero holy FUCK

Joe x Alastor FOREVER

Him with his mask on <3

Cons

Has a girlfriend ;(

Less familiar with his game

3. Ace

Pros

A FUCKING DADDY

Those ABS

His fucking outfit

He's such a fucking hottie omg

Such a fucking dumbass

Is it bad that i just wanna see him in bondage and constantly mistreated?

Cons

Dad jokes

Will constantly interrupt and make sure Junpei dies a virgin

Evil as fuck

Literally, tho, like unforiveably evil ;(

Literally impossible to find the remake sprites

Unfuckable(his name is LITERALLY ace)

SUCH a fucking dumbass

Can't find good pictures ;(

jk i foudnt teh sprites

4. Roche

Pros

LITERALLY PERFECT

His DEDICATION

Badass fucking biker holy FUCK

Literally perfect

An absolute RIOT

Roche x Cloud FOREVER

Cons

SO horny for Cloud he'd never fuyck me

Cloud could NEVER appreciate Roche they weay he deserves

5. Knockout

Pros

HOT AS FUCK

SO FUCKING GAY

Knockout x Breakdown lives in my mind rent-free

GAY ASS FUCKING CAR

Did I mention how gay he is?

SO HOT HOLY FUCK

Cons

One of the decepticons(he turns good tho)

Taken by Breakdown(He dies tho ;( )

6. Meta Knight

Pros

HOW IS HE SO HOT HE'S LITERALLY AN ORB

SEXY ASS VOICE

Metagala FORVEVER

Also Metadede tho???!!!

I'd play with his sword ;)

That fucking mask holy shit

SO HOT HOLY FUCK

Cons

Less good porn online ;(

Taken by so many guys he's such a fucking slut

7. Koops/Carbon

Pros

Shy as fuck but aslo fucking CUTE

He's a fucking freak in Book of Mario but it's kinda hot and gay

Him x Mario tho?

Him as a Koopatrol tho???

Seriously what a fucking hottie

Definitely worth having the shadow queen take over

Cons

Such a fucking bottom

Such a LOSER

Taken by Koopikoo or whatever the fuck her name is

8. Jigen

Pros

GAY

SO FUCKING GAY

HE IS SO FUCIKING GAY CODED

That CHIN HAIR HELL YEAH

Cons

Can't tell if he's really sexist or just really gay/j

The movie design ;(

I DON'T LIKE UPPER LIP HAIR IM SORRY

9. Captain Falcon

Pros

THAT BOD HOLY FUCK

FALCON PAAAUNCH!!!

HIM WITHOUT HSI HELMET THO???

SERIOUSLY THOSE FUCKIN MUSCLES THO

Cons

Doesn't have new games ;(

10. Banjo (no Kazooie)

Pros

SUCH A HOT BEAR

FURRY

HES SO FUCKING DUMB

SO CUTE OMG

THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU

Cons

Also doesn't have new games ;(

Always with Kazooie

FUCKING DUMB

11. Nekomaru Nidai

Pros

LITERAL PERFECTION

SO FUCKING SUPPPORTIVE

An AMAZING MASSEUR

THAT BULDGE

Cons

SHIDDING PROBLEMS

He will make you TIRED

ultimate dis pear i guess

12. Oscar Del Fuego

Pros

Obligatory goatee

HES AN ARTIST

The outfit he wears when he feels "festive"

Kinky rattlesnake tattoo ;)

Kind of a dumbass

Cons

Disappears for most of the game ;(

Overcharges for his art

13. Chaz McFreely

Pros

Obligatory goatee

SO FUCKING COOL

Such a tsundere

HIS MOTORCYCLE GEAR

AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT

SO gay for Travis Scott(not the celeberity GOD)

Cons

SUCH a tsundere

AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT

Kind of a FUCKBOI

Too much of a weenine to dance with Travis

14. MaoMao

Pros

Handsome Cat

SEXY ASS VOICE

SO FUCKING HOT

BadgerMao FOREVER

A DADDY

A FUCKING SLUT

HAS MEN ALL OVER HIM

Cons

Daddy Issues

Big Tsundere

15. Teddy

Pros

A literal BEAR

Nice bod

THOSE PAWS

LOVES working out

Would carry you

A daddy

Super sweaty

GROOOOF

Cons

OBSESSED with working out

Super sweaty

Judgy

16. Glamrock Freddy

Pros

Sexy robot

Super supportive

Can carry you inside him

Freddy x Monty is the best

Cons

fucked up backstory

malfunctions sometimes

17. Montgomery Gator

Pros

Another sexy robot

A scalie

Can top me anyday ;)

Potential for a sexy threesome with freddy

aggressive

loves golf

Cons

aggressive

loves golf

18. Space Hunter Drake Redcrest

Pros

Sexy superhero

Loves JUSTICE

Gallant as FUCK

Sexy ass pose

That SUIT holy FUCK

Cons

Loves JUSTICE

Weird crush on Princess Pitts

Has a caterpillar stalker who would kill me for smashing him

19. Kabbu

Pros

Caring as FUCK

Amazing armor

Usually the reasonable one

LOVES moths

Nothing gayer than a RAINBOW scarab beetle

Cons

Stubborn

Tragic Past

Tiny as hell

20. Ghirahim

Pros

Cocky ass motherfucker

Sexy tights

SEXY PALMS

One of my FAVE zelda villains

SO gay

FABULOUS

that tongue tho

Cons

COCKY AS FUCK

doesn't show up in other games ;(

that tongue tho

those lips

21. Larry Butz

(These three are a smash package tho fr)

Pros

Obligatory goatee

Him in that SAMURAI COSTUME

SO fucking CUTE

SUCH a DUMBASS

Creative as FUCK

Cons

A FUCKBOI

SO ROBBED BY THE WRITERS

THE DISRESPECT

22. Dick Gumshoe

Pros

His name is literally Dick how can I NOT fuck him???

Literally perfect

That BOD

So THICC

SUCH a DUMBASS

SUCH a loving and supporting DADDY

ACTUALLY a really good detective fite me >:(

Cons

A DUMBASS

Doesn't appear in newer games ;(

His higher ups disrespect him SO FUCKING MUCH OMG >:(

23. Kotetsu Kaburagi

Pros

Fucking HOT ARMOR

Sexy tiger boi

Obligatory goatee :)

Kind of a DADDY?!

Tiger x Bunny FOREVER

Cons

Kind of a fuckboi?

Not as familiar with Tiger and Bunny :(

24. Naga Rider

Pros

MOAR HOT ARMOR

The armor stays ON during sex!

SO fucking cool

Kinda cute under teh armor

WOuld kick my ass and I'd thank him

Cons

Don't know the game very well

No goatee :(

25. Bowser

Pros

The ULTIMATE DADDYY

That fucking BOD

SO fuckinghot

A total SLUT for mario and midbus

a legit good dad

his fuckin OUTFITS

Cons

Obsessed with Peach

26. II Piantissimo

Pros

obligatory goatee

big costumes guy

cocky as FUCK

Cons

cocky as FUCK

27. Darkhammer

Pros

armored lizard DADDY

can lock me up

so fuckin badass

Cons

no recognition from fandom :(

28. Darknut

Pros

heavy armor daddy

knights were my gay awaykening

BADASSS

Secretly descendants of mogmas

Cons

evil i guess no real drawbacks here

29. Gabriel Cunningham

Pros

DADDY

chiill as FUCK

doesn't take SHIT

jk he totally does lol

Cons

kind of a stubborn deadbeat dad

30. Papyrus

Pros

HOT AS FUCK

Let Papyrus say FUCK

SO fucking dedicated

BELIVES IN YOU

Cons

probably not into you

will NOT take you to the BONE ZONE

31. Garland

Pros

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.

HORNYHORNYHORYM

SOFUCKINGHOTd

A FUCKING BADASS

Did i say hot yet?

Kinda ship him with Bahamut

Cons

evil i guess but he actually really good maybe? idc i just think he hot

you CANNOT play as him in his ICONIC armor ;(

has a thing for the princess ig

32. Left Shark

Pros

SHARK

HOT

GAY

Cons

straights try to claim this CLEARLY gay icon

33. Prince Sidon

Pros

SHARK

HOT

GAY

If you are not attracted to this guy as a gay then you are LYING/j

I want him to top me while i wear my left shark costume

Cons

LITERALLY none

34. Lanz

Pros

MY BELOVED

I LOVE HIM

HES EVERYTHING

Literally everything I want

Cons

probably gonna end up with sena or whatever

needs more heavy armor and speedos cuz im THIRSTY

loses his goatee in the end and it looks UGLY

35. Wendell

Pros

HIM

THE SCRENKLY

YALL NEED TLO WATCH ENDELL AND WILD NOW

like GWORL This man make me SWOON

Cons

he a short king but i guess that's not really that bad

his movie is UNDERAPPRECIATED

36+37. Flint Bonpyre and Graham Payser

Pros

GAY COGS

YOU CAN'T SEPAEATE THEM

GAY

Legit tho thes two are a fucking POWER CUPLE

These two are EVERYTHING

omg they were CO-COMPOSERS

help i cant stop drwaing them

Cons

LITERALLY none

they live rent free in my brain and wont leave